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  Good... Bad... I'm the guy with the gun. Bruce Campbell Army of Darkness
To err is human, but it feels divine.Mae West Ross' Big Book of Bad Boy Quotes
What is it that you're objecting to?Mum Mrs Monica Elliot
Well, I believe in the soul, the cock, the pussy, the small of a woman's back, the hanging curve ball, high fiber, good scotch, that the novels of Susan Sontag are self-indulgent, overrated crap. I believe Lee Harvey Oswald acted alone. I believe there ought to be a constitutional amendment outlawing Astroturf and the designated hitter. I believe in the sweet spot, soft-core pornography, opening your presents Christmas morning rather than Christmas Eve and I believe in long, slow, deep, soft, wet kisses that last three days.Crash Davis Bull Durham
"Monday-This new creature with the long hair is a good deal in the way. It is always hanging around and following me about. I don't like this; I am not used to company, I wish it would stay with the other animals...Cloudy today, wind in the east; think we shall have rain...We? Where did I get that word?...I remember now--the new creature uses it."Mark Twain Adam's Diary
If living like the Amish is the only way to avoid 'consumerism', then..what is wrong with consumerism in the first place?Joseph Heath and Andrew Potter Nation of Rebels
Somebody needs to get the collected works of Ayn Rand down to New Orleans right away, preferably in a waterproof edition.Scott McLemee http://www.insidehighered.com/views/2005/09/06/mclemee
... actually, I think I may have lost my train of thought there. But don’t run with pointy, shitty sticks, okay?Fraser Stephen-Smith Article, SOLOHQ
The secret of a good sermon is to have a good beginning and a good ending, and to have the two as close together as possible.George Burns
Did you ever meet these rehab people? I liked them better when they were drunks! When they're drunk, they just ask you to buy them a drink. Now they've got to tell you how happy they are, how they found God ... then they've got to give you a test to see if you're an alcoholic: ... 'Do you ever find yourself looking forward to a drink? Hmmmmmm?' What kind of test is this? I look forward to eating. Does that make me a food addict? I look forward to sex. Does that make me a sex addict? I'll be honest with you: Sometimes I look forward to taking a big shit! Does that make me a shitaholic?Jeff Wayne It's OK To Be a White Male Comedy CD
Please don't feed the trollsAdam Reed Everywhere
The less things change, the more they stay the same.R. D. Reynolds Wrestlecrap: the very worst of professional wrestling
Alone, adj. In bad company.Ambrose Bierce The Devil's Dictionary
A can't change the laws of physics.James Doohan as Scotty Star Trek, "The Naked Time," 1966
All the doctors who warned me not to smoke or drink died long ago.Jean Sibelius Famous Finnish composer who lived to the age of 91.
I think they would have particularly liked rap music. It has the sort of effect Neanderthals would have enjoyed.Steven Mithen The Singing Neanderthals: The Origins of Music, Language and the Mind.
Fundamentalist Christianity - fascinating. These people actually believe that the world is 12 thousand years old. Swear to God. What the..? Based on what? I asked them. "Well we looked at all the people in the Bible and we added 'em up all the way back to Adam and Eve, their ages - 12 thousand years." Well how fucking scientific, okay. I didn't know that you'd gone to so much trouble. That's good. You believe the world's 12 thousand years old? "That's right." Okay I got a one word question, ready? "uh huh." Dinosaurs.Bill Hicks Philosophy
Abstainer, n. A weak person who yields to the temptation of denying himself a pleasure. A total abstainer is one who abstains from everything but abstention, and especially from inactivity in the affairs of others.Ambrose Bierce The Devil's Dictionary
Yep, that system of socialism and touchy-feely public education really seems to be working out. Just like Darwin said it would.Mr. Lion "And the Darwin Award goes to..." (post from Capitalist Lion)
I think magic is whatever the individual defines it to be. I say it’s all magic.David Blaine Comcast Entertainment News
"Morale was deteriorating and it was all Yossarian's fault. The country was in peril; he was jeopardizing his traditional rights of freedom and independence by daring to exercise them." Joesph Heller Catch-22
So Many Right Wing Christians, So Few Lions.Unknown Author Seen on a t-shirt
I love you when you're not masterminding my downfall.Anonymous Of all places, some guy's T-shirt in a bar.
“I believe in the soul, the cock, the pussy, the small of a woman’s back, the hanging curve ball, high fiber, good Scotch, that the novels of Susan Sontag are overrated self-indulgent crap, that Lee Harvey Oswald acted alone. I believe that there ought to be a constitutional amendment outlawing Astroturf and the designated hitter. I believe in the sweet spot, soft core pornography, opening your presents Christmas morning rather than Christmas eve and I believe in long, slow, deep, soft, wet kisses that last three days.”Kevin Costner Crash (Kevin Costner) from Bull Durham
When we got engaged, she told her friends: 'We're getting married and he's going to buy me a big house with a white picket fence and he's going to work and I'm not.' Ha! Dream on, hooker.Rodney Carrington Morning Wood
Fortunately, Solo is not respectable.Barbara Branden On Writing forum thread - Post 7
Remember this: one can be a strict logician or grammarian and at the same time full of imagination and music.Hermann Hesse The Glass Bead Game
Truly this world is unfair, as it so obviously favors those who are well-groomed and of pleasant demeanor!Kyle Baker Plastic Man 15, May, 2005
We've all heard that a million monkeys banging on a million typewriters will eventually reproduce the entire works of Shakespeare. Now, thanks to the Internet, we know this is not true. Robert Silensky
Smoking is one of the leading causes of statistics.Fletcher Knebel
THE BEATINGS WILL CONTINUE UNTIL MORALE IMPROVESAnonymous From a sign on an office cubicle
Politeness, n. The most acceptable hypocrisy.Ambrose Bierce The Devil's Dictionary
Personally, I like the university... They gave us money and facilities, we didn't have to produce anything. You've never been out of college; you don't know what it's like out there. I've worked in the private sector.... They expect results!Dan Aykroyd and Harold Ramis Ghostbusters (1984)
I sent the club a wire stating, PLEASE ACCEPT MY RESIGNATION. I DON'T WANT TO BELONG TO ANY CLUB THAT WILL ACCEPT ME AS A MEMBER. Groucho Marx
Religion is a smile on a dog.Edie Brickell and the New Bohemians "What I Am"
Christmas is a time of year when people of all religions come together to worship Jesus Christ.Bart Simpson
"I was born modest, but it wore off."Mark Twain Hal Holbrook's "Mark Twain Tonight" show
Hey, I got a question for you. Could Jesus microwave a burrito so hot that he himself could not eat it?Homer Simpson "The Simpsons"
People are saying 'We want good toilets!' because toilets are a basic human right and that basic human right has been neglected. The world deserves better toilets.Jack Sim, Founder, World Toilet Organization USA Today (http://www.usatoday.com/news/world/2004-11-17-toilet-summit_x.htm)
Not that I condone fascism, or any -ism for that matter. -Ism's in my opinion are not good. A person should not believe in an -ism, he should believe in himself. I quote John Lennon, "I don't believe in The Beatles, I just believe in me." Good point there. After all, he was the walrus. I could be the walrus and I'd still have to bum rides off of people.John Hughes Ferris Bueller's Day Off
Man is a rational animal who always loses his temper when he is called upon to act in accordance with the dictates of reason.Oscar Wilde
Remember men, we are fighting for this woman's honor, which is more than she ever did. Groucho Marx From one of the Marx Brother's movies in which he is referring to the Statue of Liberty.
I read in the newspapers they're gonna have 30 minutes of intellectual stuff on television every Monday from 7:30 to eight, to educate America.... They couldn't educate America if they started at 6:30. Groucho Marx The Boston Globe (January 22, 1960)
The Federal Government's Motto: If It Ain't Broke, Fix It Until It Is.Unknown Author A Random Bumper Sticker
I made my fortune on the seas, and in the mines, and in the cattle wars of the old frontier... I made it by being tougher than the toughies, and smarter than the smarties. And I made it SQUARE!Scrooge McDuck
I'm one tough gazookus which hates all palookas wot ain't on the up and square. I biffs 'em and buffs 'em an' always outroughs 'em an' none of 'em gets nowhere. If anyone dasses to risk me fisk, it's "boff" and its "wham", un'erstand. So, keep good behavior, that's your one lifesaver with Popeye the Sailor Man.Popeye the Sailor Man
The knack of flying is learning how to throw yourself at the ground and miss.Douglas Adams The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy
Getting laid is the motivation for a very large percentage of what I do, and I would have to say that the percentage only seems to be getting larger as time goes by and other things seem less important.Ashley Frazier SOLO HQ
We've got Armadillos in our trousers. It's really quite frightening.Nigel Tufnel This Is Spinal Tap
"My article suggests that a third state, “futuristic certainty,” exists, which is fundamentally far more akin to actuality than potentiality."G. Stolyarov II http://www.solohq.com/Forum/Dissent/0009.shtml#0
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