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Post 0

Sunday, November 27 - 3:11pm

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A young lady I know of is about two months pregnant. She found out about it a couple weeks ago while she was in rehab for drug addiction. Apparently she is clean now and her boyfriend who was recently released after being in jail for a few months for drug dealing is clean now as well. She was addicted to crack for about the first month of her pregnancy. They are both in their early 20s and she is very happy to be with child.

When I heard about the scenario my first reaction was that the girl should abort, reevaluate her relationship with this young man and get her own life together before bringing a child into this world. Why not stay clean for a year or more and get married before considering having a baby? They are living with the boy's parents and neither really has any job skills.

The person who told me about this seemed a bit taken aback that I would even think abortion was the right thing to do. I normally would not suggest someone abort, but I just imagined a crack baby and another generation in the welfare trap. My gut reaction is that it is extremely irresponsible for this couple to bring a baby in this world before they get their own lives together. Comments?

Kat

Post 1

Sunday, November 27 - 3:39pm

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Kat mused:

My gut reaction is that it is extremely irresponsible for this couple to bring a baby in this world before they get their own lives together.

I definitely agree. How do they plan to live? By burdening their parents and the welfare state? How will they teach their child anything about productiveness when they themselves are not productive?

Production must come before reproduction!

I am not even accounting for a sick baby. That just compounds the challenges.

I can think of some weak reasons to press forward with the attitude, "Damn the torpedoes ... full speed!":

The baby might very well be happy and healthy and give the couple cause to bond and to "straighten up and fly right."
An abortion might so violate the woman's personal values system as to drive her into a relapse.
Plenty of other people have found themselves in similar circumstances and managed to turn themselves into exemplary individuals and families.

I consider all of these arguments questionable at best and purely "faith based" at worst.

Sadly, we do not live in a perfect world in which everyone makes the right choices every time and never harms others when making wrong choices. I hope all works well for all concerned parties, but I will not hold my breath.

(Edited by Luke Setzer on 11/28, 5:03am)

Post 2

Sunday, November 27 - 6:43pm

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I hope she takes control of her life, and becomes a productive independent individual. I hope she either aborts, or raises the baby by non-coercive means, or adopts. Lots of hoping.

My thoughts are that we should work towards a society that doesn't have these dilemmas. Why did she use cocaine? Why did she chance to have a baby when she was unable to raise it independently?

Post 3

Monday, November 28 - 4:54am

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Wow, Kat -

Doesn't it just make you sick to hear about this sort of stuff??

Of course she should abort this fetus. It's pretty clear the ground is shaky regarding her ability to make good, rational choices. Young women who've made such terrible mistakes also make the mistake of thinking an infant will "make it all better," give them something worthwhile to live for, etc., when all the while it's their OWN lives that must be regarded as the highest value before trying to value another.

I'm willing to bet she's doing this for all of the wrong reasons. I can only hope she's got a very supportive family willing to take on the job of raising a child. Chances are they'll end up with it.

Babies are the hardest little things to take care of, even with a ton of government help, which she'll no doubt get as well.

Post 4

Monday, November 28 - 5:00am

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"Government help" - meaning all the nasty busybodies telling her what, when, where, and how to do the child developing by their standards, not rational ones... a worse fate than the Jesuits...

Post 5

Monday, November 28 - 9:37pm

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Kat,

I fully agree with you that these people need to get their lives together before bringing a baby into the mix. As I'm sure you are aware, the odds of this young woman staying clean aren't great.

A young woman I know was in a very similar situation just over 5 years ago. She was a crack user until she found out she was pregnant. She stopped using immediately and I don't believe she has used since. HOWEVER: the baby was born without shin bones, missing several toes and some other problem I don't now recall, eventually the child's lower legs were amputated. The father disappeared less than 6 months after the birth. For most of the past 5 years she has used every government assistance she could get (and there are a lot). Her parents have also done a lot of caretaking and given financial assistance.

Like you, when I first learned that this young woman was pregnant I suggested abortion. I still think that's what she should have chosen.

Tough choices