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Post 0

Wednesday, November 9 - 10:20pm

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This thread is for all those who've ever pursued excellence in a particular field of endeavor. I hope that includes most of you. To actualize one's full potential in a particular field takes years (if not a lifetime) of focus and hard work. Making this kind of comittment can be a tremendous psychological roller coaster - particularly if one sets the bar high in terms of what they want to accomplish.

Anyhow, in any pursuit - the arts especially - most people (including the masters) will at some point ask themselves the question "am I really that good?" Along the way, there will be "breakthrough" moments, such as finally grasping and internalizing a concept, achieving a career milestone etc, but there will also most likely be moments of self doubt and frustration, perhaps when you don't reach a certain level of competence in a certain time frame, or when you realize with certainty that there is a limit to your abilities. I call this the genius/worthless dichotomy, as it describes the way you can feel at each end of the spectrum. And believe me, I've been on each end!

Recently, I decided to re-dedicate myself to music. The details of why I lost touch with music are not important to the topic at hand, but let's just say I went from being fresh out of music school practicing daily on several instruments, ready to take on the word --- to going months without ever touching one instrument, and instead worrying more about my long term rise to the top of corporate America. This transformation took place gradually over the course of five years. Needless to say, I've recently come to the realization that my purpose in this life is and always will to be the best musician I can be, and I'm not going to look back this time.

I want to be a great jazz saxophonist and composer, and I'm spending most of my time on the former for now as I see it being able to open doors for the latter down the road (as opposed to vice versa). The entirety of my life outside my day job is now structured around practicing the saxophone --- (2.5 hours per night on weeknights, 5+ hours per day on weekends). Because I've been out of practice for a while, I'm making good progress in my playing (it's mostly the process of just getting back up to speed). I feel like the 'genius' at the moment. Yet I know there will come the time when those minute details that separate the great from the mediocre seem so elusive that I want to give up. Anyone else here experience this? Any advice on how to stay the course with confidence?

Post 1

Thursday, November 10 - 12:24am

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Hey Pete,

First off, if you are interested in playing on my band's next CD then send me some mp3's of your playing. I'm in Austin, Texas and it wouldn't be hard to get you down here for a few sessions. (That goes for Adam the piano guy, too. And anyone else who is very, very good and not awfully difficult to work with).

As to your question, well...to stay the course you have to believe in yourself. I've worked 2-10 hours practically every day (for over a year) on my current project and I've gone through awful swings with it. 9 days out of 10 I'm very happy but that 10th day is terrible.

To give you an example, I have a song that was once called The Devils Were Angels. I started it about a year ago. Well, I worked and worked and worked on the thing. I loved the theme. I liked the lyric and I liked the music but for who knows what reason the song just wasn't working. After putting everything I had into it I finally snapped in a Starbucks and was ready to give the whole thing up. The next day I decided to write all new music for the same lyric and it's one of the better things I've done.

Nietzsche has a great quote about great artists being great workers. That they consistently produce things great, mediocre and bad. And, unlike lesser artists, the great ones are careful to make sure all the bad stuff goes in the garbage.

Are you more of a performing artist or creative artist? Or are you equally directed toward each?

There's a lot to talk about on this, Pete. If you want to be the best you can be you're gonna have to put the better part of your day into whatever it is you want to do.

Post 2

Thursday, November 10 - 8:58am

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Lance had a great suggestion. I just did something like that too. I used to work with a poet, and we produced quite a bit of spoken word stuff (he couldn't sing, so we went to spoken word and I did ambient, sound-tracky stuff). Anyway, he had this one piece called The Failed Colossus, that I've had since around 1991. I carried this thing with me for years, but I couldn't get anything moving with it. Sometimes, I'd just set it off the side on my stand and glance at it (annoyed) while I was working on something else. Since 91, jeesuz...

Last week I was finishing up something else, and, as I had now had occasion to do for six goddamn years, I set the thing out. Nothing.

The next morning, about 6am, I sat in my studio doing the creative ritual... you know, thinking about gear things, songs, whatever, and the damned lyric was in front of me. At this point, burning cigarette holes in it came to mind. I hadn't played acoustic guitar in a couple of weeks, so I pulled it out of the case, and started playing. I could hear something way out there in the distance, on the edges of my ear, and there it came. It was quite simple, way simpler than how I usually write. Just a simple rhythm part (more or less GaddA, G/Eadd A, Cmaj6sus2, D) and there it was. The chorus locked in within a minute. I didn't even write it down, which breaks a major rule of mine because I'm old and I forget things. But I didn't. A day later I rolled into band practice, and ran the rhythm section through it, with the singer listening. I did an experiment involving not showing her the actual melody. She got it dead to the boards on the first pass. Arrangement was done by the second playing. It's a really pretty rock ballad now.

NEVER throw anything away. Save your bits- sometimes they get used in places you haven't even gotten to yet.

The other thing is how to look at The Work. I don't. The only time I let it hurt me is when I'm pushing my physical limits on the instrument. The rest of the time, I don't push. As simple as it is, I take the tack of hearing first, fingers second. Lately, I've written pieces that were almost totally complete before I picked up the instrument- I did them in my head.

There's no one way to get good. You do it from love, and energy. You think about music everyday. Actually, it just starts hanging around you whether you like it or not.

Good luck, your resolve is strong, and that's going to work.

rde
I can hardly wait to rehearse tonight.

Post 3

Thursday, November 10 - 4:44pm

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Lance,

If I were in the Austin area, I'd be happy to explore the possibility of collaborating, but I don't see myself getting down there in the next year or so. Perhaps down the road, though.

As to whether I'm a performer or creative type, jazz allows me to be both simultaneously. :-) Seriously though, I see both as being an important part of my musical identity.

You conclude by saying:

If you want to be the best you can be you're gonna have to put the better part of your day into whatever it is you want to do.

Truer words have never been spoken.

Rich,

I agree as far as the never-throw-an-idea-away thing is concerned. I've found that it's a good idea to record free form improvisations, as you can often mine some good little pieces of ideas that can later be worked into a more significant whole. If you don't document in some way, chances are it will be lost to eternity. Makes you wonder how many great pieces of would-be music have been lost to the wind because of that. The business expression of "If you can't measure it, don't do it" comes to mind.

The Genius-Worthless Dichotomy